That’s how I feel lately.. light blue. Not very sad, just a little. A little lost. A little homesick. Homesick, for which ‘home’ though? My soul place: New Orleans? My friends and the simple life there - yes. For Toronto? My base with the closest family and friends there - yes. Am I homesick for the North American continent? For its time zones so I could watch my favourite teams play live? Yes! Geaux Saints! Go Leafs Go! All of those things! I’m homesick for a home. A place to stay put. A place to decorate with my own treasures. A place to put my wooden bed my Dad built for me. My anchor spot.
I’m 3 months into my adventure in Poland and it doesn’t really feel like an adventure. It’s a routine by now. I have my own one bedroom rental. It’s a short walk away from work. It came furnished so I could only add a few of my own touches. It doesn’t feel mine. It feels like a long term Airbnb rental. It’s not really worth to put so much effort into it cause it’s temporary and I know it.
Work is OK. Got a steady schedule but don’t have two consecutive days off together so it feels like having two Fridays (yay!) and unfortunately two Mondays as well (ugh!).
With a weird schedule like that I didn’t get a chance to visit my hometown Łódż yet. It’s a 5-hour train ride from where I’m at and one day spent there won’t be enough. Am I homesick for my hometown too? Aaaah!
The Fall weather is adding to this mood as well, it seems. Days are shorter. Nights and mornings much chiller. Rain comes and goes but I love the rain so.. my feels are not based on that.
I’ve noticed that the sea smells different this time of the year. Fresher. The beach is less crowded now and it’s a blessing living so close to it. I feel blessed. I feel grateful. Every day. I just don’t feel at home.
Someone said, well not just someone - Jay Shetty did, that life is a lot like a crazy rollercoaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. It’s so true. Jay is a great storyteller and motivation speaker. His inspirational videos are amazing! You can check his Instagram here
Life = rollercoaster. Yes! We need low times to appreciate the highs. And those are on their way!
In the meantime, I plan on using my free time on self-care, meditation, going back to yoga and drinking copious amounts of tea. I’m waking up early and enjoying the slow mornings too.
Next month I’ll be celebrating another year around the Sun. I am so thankful for it all. Even this blue mood. It gives me time to reflect on things and get excited about the future.
Sharing all my feels on here might not be the best idea (especially when writing is not my strong point) but it’s real and it’s me.
Thank you for reading. Sending you warm hugs wherever you are! Muah!